Supporting Someone Bereaved by Suicide – And Yourself
Losing someone to suicide is one of the most devastating experiences a person can face. The grief that follows is often complex, filled with shock, unanswered questions, and a wide mix of emotions. On top of this, stigma and misunderstanding can leave those affected feeling isolated and unsupported.
Whether you are reaching out to a friend, colleague, or loved one who has lost someone to suicide – or you are grieving yourself – it’s important to remember that healing takes time, compassion, and care.
Understanding Suicide Bereavement
Grief after suicide can be different from other kinds of loss. Alongside deep sadness, people may experience:
- Shock and disbelief – struggling to comprehend what has happened.
- Guilt – questioning whether more could have been done.
- Anger – directed at themselves, others, or the person who died.
- Shame or stigma – feeling unable to talk openly about their loss.
- Relief – in some cases, if the person had been suffering for a long time (which can bring additional guilt).
Every response is valid. There is no “right” way to grieve.
How to Support Someone Who Has Been Bereaved by Suicide
You don’t need to have all the answers – your presence, patience, and willingness to listen can mean the most. Here are some gentle ways to offer support:
1. Be Present
Sometimes, words aren’t necessary. Simply being there, sitting in silence, or checking in with a message can remind them they are not alone.
2. Listen Without Judgement
Allow them to talk about their feelings and memories if they want to. Avoid offering clichés such as “time heals” – instead, listen with empathy and compassion.
3. Offer Practical Help
Grief can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Offering to cook a meal, help with paperwork, or accompany them to appointments can ease some of the burden.
Help with child care, paper work, cleaning
4. Be Patient
Grief after suicide doesn’t follow a set timeline. Be prepared to support them long after the funeral, as anniversaries and milestones can be particularly difficult.
5. Respect Their Grieving Process
Some people may want to talk openly, while others prefer privacy. Follow their lead and give them the space they need.
Looking After Yourself When You Are Bereaved by Suicide
If you have lost someone to suicide, it’s important to care for yourself as you navigate this painful time.
- Acknowledge your feelings – whatever you are experiencing is valid. Try not to suppress or judge your emotions.
- Talk to someone you trust – whether it’s a friend, family member, or a support group, sharing how you feel can ease isolation.
- Seek professional help – counsellors or bereavement specialists can provide space to work through your grief.
- Take small steps – focus on basic self-care like eating, resting, and moving your body. Healing will take time.
- Remember you are not alone – there are many others who have experienced similar losses and understand the unique pain of suicide bereavement.
- Trust yourself to find your way through and take your time to process your feelings
Where to Find Support
If you or someone you know has been bereaved by suicide, these organisations can help:
- Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) – confidential emotional support.
- Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS): www.uksobs.org – peer support groups across the UK.
- Cruse Bereavement Support: www.cruse.org.uk – grief support and counselling.
- NHS 111: for urgent mental health support.
- In an emergency, always call 999.
- Alliance Plus
Final Thoughts
Grieving after suicide can feel overwhelming, but no one should go through it alone. By offering gentle, non-judgemental support, we can help those bereaved feel seen, understood, and less isolated. And if you are grieving yourself, remember that it is not only acceptable but essential to seek help. Healing may be slow, but hope and connection can grow, even after the deepest loss.
